On the evening of June 10, 2000, an honorable parliamentarian went to Dr. Bashar al-Assad and said: “Sir, I have brought you what even the hoopoe failed to bring to King Solomon!”
“And what have you brought me, O bird of ill omen?”
“I have brought you from parliament a handkerchief I used to wipe the tears of my colleague, who was weeping at the announcement of the death of the Eternal Leader.”
“And what am I supposed to do with it, you fool?”
“You are wisdom incarnate, sir, nay, the pride of ophthalmologists on the planet.”
“I don’t understand.”
“His tears may not be genuine, not truly coming from the heart. I smelled the scent of onions in his pocket.”
“How are we to verify that?”
“We send the handkerchief to the laboratory to measure the salinity of the tears. If their salinity is normal, we know they are genuine; if their salinity is low, we know it was caused by onions.”
“You, little chimp, seem to know more about ophthalmology than I do!”
“God forbid, sir. I am your humble chimp — your apprentice, I mean!”
** Translated from the Arabic original by the author
